recently...
i'm in love...
love to take pictures' of flowers...
and picture of different items...

problematic

argh...!!!
windmill...
handphone...
iphone...
LV bag...
psp...
credit card...

i got to make all those stuff within today for the drama...
and how am i gona finish that?!?!
hope that i manage to finish those things...



well, after having my hair cut...
half of the comment i receive is CUTE??!!??!?!?!
what the h***, are they sure about that???
cute???
with this kind of face???
but, well, i still quite happy with it even that it fake...
because they don't want to hurt me, ^^


and my leg...
my ankle...
it getting worst...
i'm quite scare with it...
haven let my family know about that...
and they doesn't know about this blog...
should i go for another X-ray???
should i go for the doctor again???
or should i just let it be...

well, it doesn't matter...
not like i have plenty of time for going to the hospital...
and lately, been out of the sports activity...
so should be no problem...
and on sunday, i got a drum performance, wish me luck ya...

:P

it been a long time since my last post...
feel sorry for that...
well, i got nothing much to share with...
but from now on, i'll start my blogging once again...
with tons of weird stuff...
continue with my weird essay...
so, hope you all got the patience to read those stuff...
thanks...

speak it out...

alone...
one person...
is what i had been enjoying...
and it had making my communicating skill's start to rot...
i been scare to approach any group that is combine by more than 2 ppl...
i been trying to avoid to have more relation to the world i living in...
i been acting weird and starting to become someone i don't understand...
i'm a complete stranger to myself...
i got no more confident about anything...

everyone around me seems to hate me...
they seems to dislike me, and don't want to have any relation with me...
therefore...
i separate myself from my classmate...
i don't want to anoy any of them...
i don't want to show that i need their concern...
because they never will concern me...

i'm the one who always being forget in the class...
i'm invisible in the class...
i'm not exist in their world...
or just a person who passby in their life which doesn't need to be remembered...
ya, a comlete stranger...
and a stranger who know his place...

should i be sad?
should i be happy?
should i be trouble?
should i try to change any of those?
no...
because even i change, there will be no one will notice me...
no one will love me (except my family...)...
therefore i will only care for my family...
and those who remember me...
who care me...
and who is injured, no matter in physical or mentally...

the new me...
i don't know how to introduce...
but i'm sure i'll be able to say out who am i, confidently...
who and how is the real me...

woohooo~~~
moon festival for utem had just over...
been busy for weeks because of this event...
been painting backdrop(drawing and colouring "chjang er")...
been practicing for the 24 season drum performance...
and finally, we perform it nearly perfect(for our standard, which only practice for 5~6 practice gathering time)...
the only sad thing is they remove the solo part...
haha...

hmm...
the only thing i can say is, the atmosphere is very high...
even the malays and indians they all enjoy the night...
just that that night suddently raining, sigh...
happy photo taking period, happy ss(siok sendiri) dancing period, and etc...
it been a long time i been so high...
and what did you know, next event, spring festival...
i'm all in... haha...

where's all those photos???
sry, i'm not gona upload it in my blog, if u want to watch it,
please, go to my facebook, haha...
go to the album that i had been tag in, and u'll seen much of it ^^

well, i think i'm fully back to the jeffrey you all know...
and i start to trouble by different kind of stuff....
so, the only way to distract is study, playing, singing, and dancing... haha...
wish me luck guys, i want to be like i used to be, the no troubles jeffrey... ^^

back

i'm back...
the feelings that the old jeffrey always have had return...
i'm now annoying, talkative, aprochable, more daring...
althought there's really some different from the old me...
but i did come bac...

come back with a slightly different personal...
maybe thats the latest defence system i had installed myself...
been laughting out loud...
been smiling oftenly...
dare to join people once more...

i found back some of my courage...
i found back part of the OldMe...
i found back the comunication method i used to use...
i found back my natural smile...
i found back ME.

the cure...the way... the return...

hands...
i sees hands...
a lots of hands appear in front of me...
different sizes...
different lenght...
from different directions...
all from different person...

they are trying to help me,
guide me out of this labyrinth...
they are showing me,
they want me to know one thing,
I'M NOT ALL ALONE......

they are hoping...
hope that i could change back to the usual me...
the OldMe, the always happy and always cheerful me...
the OldMe that never feel sad, never emo even when i'm all alone...
the OldMe that haven't been hurt, haven't been wound...

what do i need so that i can change bac???
a time machine???
a medicine???
an accidient that make me lost my memories???
no...
not all those...
those can't cure me, and i know that!!!

i know what to do...
i know how to face it...
i been helping people around me out of those situation...
years i had done these kind of things...
i know what to do...
i want to hold those hands...
i want to go out of this miserable places!!!

but i just can't leave...
can't leave one of the "Me" behind...
the most weak personality of me...
the CowardMe, who doesn't have the courage to reach out for those hands...
the CowardMe, who doesn't want to think the way i want him to think...

why???
why CowardMe refuse to hold those hands???
what is CowardMe waiting for???
is those hands not secure enough??? no!!!
is those hands not warm enough??? no!!!
is those hands not the hands that u wana hold??? ......

who are CowardMe waiting???
i don't know...
but the good news is, CowardMe had stand up...
no more sitting...
no more numbling...
he is responding to something...
an object???
a voices???
a person???

who knows...
all the other "Me" are waiting...
waiting for CowardMe to join up with the other "Me"...
so that the OldMe can be reform again...
so that the OldMe can be return by walking out of the labyrinth...
walking out with the helps by my friends...
and show that i'm not alone...
and show that i'm healed...