back

i'm back...
the feelings that the old jeffrey always have had return...
i'm now annoying, talkative, aprochable, more daring...
althought there's really some different from the old me...
but i did come bac...

come back with a slightly different personal...
maybe thats the latest defence system i had installed myself...
been laughting out loud...
been smiling oftenly...
dare to join people once more...

i found back some of my courage...
i found back part of the OldMe...
i found back the comunication method i used to use...
i found back my natural smile...
i found back ME.

the cure...the way... the return...

hands...
i sees hands...
a lots of hands appear in front of me...
different sizes...
different lenght...
from different directions...
all from different person...

they are trying to help me,
guide me out of this labyrinth...
they are showing me,
they want me to know one thing,
I'M NOT ALL ALONE......

they are hoping...
hope that i could change back to the usual me...
the OldMe, the always happy and always cheerful me...
the OldMe that never feel sad, never emo even when i'm all alone...
the OldMe that haven't been hurt, haven't been wound...

what do i need so that i can change bac???
a time machine???
a medicine???
an accidient that make me lost my memories???
no...
not all those...
those can't cure me, and i know that!!!

i know what to do...
i know how to face it...
i been helping people around me out of those situation...
years i had done these kind of things...
i know what to do...
i want to hold those hands...
i want to go out of this miserable places!!!

but i just can't leave...
can't leave one of the "Me" behind...
the most weak personality of me...
the CowardMe, who doesn't have the courage to reach out for those hands...
the CowardMe, who doesn't want to think the way i want him to think...

why???
why CowardMe refuse to hold those hands???
what is CowardMe waiting for???
is those hands not secure enough??? no!!!
is those hands not warm enough??? no!!!
is those hands not the hands that u wana hold??? ......

who are CowardMe waiting???
i don't know...
but the good news is, CowardMe had stand up...
no more sitting...
no more numbling...
he is responding to something...
an object???
a voices???
a person???

who knows...
all the other "Me" are waiting...
waiting for CowardMe to join up with the other "Me"...
so that the OldMe can be reform again...
so that the OldMe can be return by walking out of the labyrinth...
walking out with the helps by my friends...
and show that i'm not alone...
and show that i'm healed...

like a fool

stop being good to me
don't be good to me anymore

being cold would be better instead
or being unconcerned would be better instead
taking off the dust stuck on the hem of your dress
leaning on my shoulder without a thought as you laughed
it's just a habit, but even though i erase it and spend my day busily
i think and think about it again, like a picture taken with my eyes

stop being good to me
don't ever be good to me again
i get on my knees in front of love
i don't have the confidence to be hurt
if your feelings are different
if your feelings are different from mine
when someone asks i'll introduce you calmly
as just a person i know

it wasn't that i wasn't able to answer
that late night call you gave me several days ago
i couldn't answer it
because i was drunk and from my lonely heart i might have thoughtlessly told you that i missed you
because i thought that by the morning, it would be nothing

stop being good to me
don't ever be good to me again
i get on my knees in front of love
i don't have the confidence to be hurt
because even though i miss you
to when i thought i had the entire world
i can't find the path that leads me back through that love alone
because your feelings might be the same
because your feelings might be the same as mine
i anticipate and i wait once again
in front of love today as well
like a fool
i hesitate in front of you again
like a fool

a path...

finally...
a path had been found within the forest...
a path that had been abandon for a long long time...
cover by bushes...
block out by trees...
and yet, i found it...

for the present me...
this is the only path i had seen...
for the present me...
this is the only way i can choose...

a path that is so narrow...
a path that full of holes...
a path that seems tough to walk...
a path that is so dark...
a path that unpredictable...
a path which full of doubt...

i was in a labyrinth....
a labyrinth that made up in a form of forest...
i was lost in a mist...
a mist that appear in the form of leaves and bushes...

and yet...
i found this hidden path...
after so long...
so many hardship...
a hope of path finally appear...
then again, should i took the path???

i doubt the path...
just like the way i doubt myself...
i try to forseen what lies ahead on this path...
just like i try to forseen what i will be in the future...

where will the path end???
will it takes forever for me to found out???
where will it lead me to???
will it turn out to be another complicated junction???
who will i meet???
will he/she tell me that i'm on the right path???

because i know...
once a desicion had been made...
there will be no more turning back...
no more second chance for a traveller like me...

labyrinth...

i never know i would be lost for this long...
stuck in a labyrinth....
the labyrinth in my heart...
the scale of the labyrinth is getting larger each and everyday....
it keeps expanding...
the harder i try to escape, the faster it expand...
even now a huge mist had started to appear within my labyrinth...

i know the answer i'm seeking is deep within it...
i know the only way to become "me" again is to get out of this labyrinth...
i want the answer...
i want to get out...
i want to stop all those bullshit that keep appear in my mind!!!

i used to think that labyrinth is easy to conquer...
i used to help people to conquer the labyrinth in their heart...
labyrinth of love, labyrinth of family, labyrinth of future path...
and now, i myself stuck in my own labyrinth...
the things i used to handle by giving advice and help them to see it through...
but why, i can't help myself to see through all these???

i'm too weak???
i'm too coward???
i'm too stubborn???
or it just that i never wanted to face the truth???

all i want is an answer...
answer for the reason of the sudden appear of this labyrinth...
this labyrinth in my heart...
but the answer that i'm seeking is hidden somewhere in this place...
somewhere in this labyrinth that had been trap me for this long...
i need someone to lead me out of this....
and maybe this person also know the answer i'm seeking...
but i know this person will never appear...
because no one will ever know the location of my labyrinth...
no one can ever enter the labyrinth of my heart...
and no one can ever found me in the labyrinth of my heart...

i lost in my heart...
lost in the labyrinth in my heart...