saddest day , for now...

now i understand no matter how hard i tried... 

he will never understand how i really felt...

because his worried, anger and imagination will always block away my words and feelings from him... 

what i said will always be the opposite meaning...

is it that hard to understand my words?

is it that hard to feel that how i care for him?? is it that hard to see that i had been trying my best to suppress myself every time u start overreacting?

why by just sharing what i saw today can lead to mass murderer? why by sharing my personality, so that u can know me more can lead to insulting you and despise you? i just want to share news to you... i just want to share joy with you... i just want to have the bonding with you...

why is it so hard???

now i understand why people choose to leave their home, choose to end their life... 

it is tempting, seriously... since i was young, i had been wanted to leave my home... i been wanted to end my own life...

even now, the though will still come to my mind... why don't i just leave, safe myself from all the unnecessary argument...

all the unnecessary misunderstanding... everything was so cool until we start to talk... until i comeback ....

i want to solve things out, i really do... it just that i can't....

things will always turn bad when we talk...

what else can i do now?