new impact

hard to sleep recently...
looks like the impact provided by breaking up is actually hitting me hard...
it just like reaping a whole pile of meat out of me, especially heart...
whenever i lie down, my body turns into heat, my chest is so cramp and it feels like it on fire...
then, i'll started to drift into the thoughts of stuff which happens before, after, and which i may be able to do...
it slowly driving me crazy....
so, i start to change my sleeps into doing stuff...
watching dramas, anime at first, but they help my enemy...
help them to eat me up alive inside of me...
so, i start to spend times on learning new stuff, new knowledge...
keep doing things, walking, until i used up every single bit of my strength and collapse immediately right when i lie down...

my old routine as a university student is still moving on as planed...
do what i must, study what i must....
and so, i can officially announce that i had just become batman...
one life on the day, night spend another...

not sure how long this will be, but i believe not long....
i had been there once, and this time, i should be able to do it better...
and maybe even try something i wasn't brave enough to do it last time...

well, i know it all personal, but...
i had to find a way to let it all out...
and so, here it is...
i'm back in writing my feelings...
why don"t choose writing it on paper as diaries? my writing speed to slow to keep up on my thoughts...
and why i post it in web? cause it really feels like i talked it to someone, and they always listen and gave zero suggestions...