cleared...

today, i spend hours to identify the reason...
and i found it...
and she discovered too and complaint it to me...
well, although she didn't know i been trouble by this...
she did helped(indirectly)...
and so, i found the identity of the mist...

the mist which blind me and make me lost between care and love...
is my habit while i'm with people i care of...
the over-thinking plus over-reacting and over-protective...
whats that?
means care too much and worry too much for no reason...
although i'll just react this way to a few people...
but i know it is the main reason i confuse again...
and she discover that too...
what an asshole i am, hah...

and the second reason i confuse...
i feel easy around her...
why i feel that way?
i don't know...
but it great to have that with a friend...
and i do not want to change this...
and hopes that she feels the same way...
although i can be quite boring most of the time...
and keeps on saying random stuff...
but still, hopes she's ok with that...

so as conclusion...
it may be just an illusion from my over-thinking...
illusion that i may still love her...
it may be just an illusion...
just care, too care...

by the way...
as a reminder to myself...
i'm one of the crossed in that list, remember???